Dear Notre Dame: Mandate Chapel Veils

A Catholic mother recently penned an editorial pleading with young women at the University of Notre Dame to exercise a scintilla of modesty after a group of young women in skintight leggings scandalized her sons.

The emergence of leggings as pants some years ago baffled me. They’re such an unforgiving garment. Last fall, they obtruded painfully on my landscape. I was at Mass at the Basilica with my family. In front of us was a group of young women, all wearing very snug-fitting leggings and all wearing short-waisted tops (so that the lower body was uncovered except for the leggings). Some of them truly looked as though the leggings had been painted on them.

It boggles the mind that young women at a Catholic university could reach the age of reason and yet appear unashamed in a state of brazen immodesty before the King of Kings. Did their mothers not teach them? Did their fathers not discipline them?

Leggings are so naked, so form fitting, so exposing. Could you think of the mothers of sons the next time you go shopping and consider choosing jeans instead? Let Notre Dame girls be the first to turn their backs(ides) on leggings. You have every right to wear them. But you have every right to choose not to. Thanks for listening to the lecture. Catholic moms are good at those!

Some might call that a reasonable request. They would be wrong. It is an absurd request, because it should not have to be made. Can college-age women not refrain from whorish displays for the forty-five minutes it takes to celebrate Holy Mass?

This being Clown World, the response from the young slatterns of Notre Dame was a resounding, “Honk, honk!”

A mother-of-four is facing backlash after penning a letter pleading with female students at the University of Notre Dame to opt out of wearing leggings “and consider choosing jeans instead.”

Note that even Fox News downplays the original editorial’s context, viz. young women wearing paint at Mass.

Irish 4 Reproductive Health, a campus nonprofit group, dubbed Tuesday “Leggings Pride Day” and called on people to take part and post pictures of themselves wearing their favorite pair of leggings. Many students posted pictures of their favorite leggings with the hashtag #LeggingsDayND.

#PantsOnHead

How is this even a discussion? Young women are publicly displaying, at Mass, sights reserved for their future husbands only. Young men have sex rubbed in their faces ever minute of every day, and it’s not as if these skanks are oblivious to it. They’re willingly participating in it.

2284 Scandal is an attitude or behavior which leads another to do evil. The person who gives scandal becomes his neighbor’s tempter. He damages virtue and integrity; he may even draw his brother into spiritual death. Scandal is a grave offense if by deed or omission another is deliberately led into a grave offense.

–-The Catechism of the Catholic Church

These callous witches know what they’re doing. The entire purpose of wearing tights in public is to draw male attention with sex. They value dopamine hits from strangers above young men’s eternal souls. They are stumbling blocks to their brothers in Christ.

Enough. Priests and bishops, the confessional has no doubt acquainted you with the massive epidemic of young men enslaved to sexual sin. How can they combat these loathsome vices when you allow them no respite from temptation, not even within the walls of Holy Mother Church?

Announce that leggings are forbidden starting next Sunday. Any woman in leggings who presents herself for communion after that point can be assumed to be giving scandal obstinately and willfully. As such, she is in a state of mortal sin. Deny her communion.

If your female congregants can’t bear to part with their hooker pants, make chapel veils mandatory again. Have the ushers hand them out to every woman who walks in the door. If a woman presents herself for communion without a veil…you guessed it.

And for the sake of all that’s holy, Notre Dame, ban Irish 4 Reproductive Health. Not only are they heretics, their spelling is a disgrace to the university system.

If female congregants don’t like these proposals, they can find somewhere else to troll for johns. I recommend the lot behind the bus station.

Of course, I don’t expect any of these common sense and frankly morally obligatory steps to be taken. The childless Boomer hags who run most parishes share their younger counterparts’ satanic contempt for men. They just can’t squeeze into tights anymore.

To Millennial women who complain that they can’t find a good man: Do you not understand that we find you not just distasteful, but monstrous? You treat men as sources of attention, pleasure, and resources, yet you dismiss men’s concerns with ever shriller calls for rights you already have.

A record number of men under 30 have stopped having sex altogether. Do have any idea how hard it is to deny that basic masculine drive? For today’s sex-addicted men, it’s like going without food or water. Congratulations, ladies, you are so awful that some men are doing the equivalent of starving themselves rather than be with you.

Because sex–or more commonly advertising sex–is all you have to offer. But your other qualities are so repellent, it’s not enough.

Go ahead. Mock this mother’s godly concern for her sons. Ridicule men for being fragile. Use this as yet another excuse to take off your clothes in public. It’s your only trick, and honestly, it’s dead boring.

No one besides your equally perverse and vapid Instagram friends will care, and then only for a moment. They you’ll grow old, spend your last fifty years as invisible nonentities, die alone, and roast in hell.

Or the Catholic hierarchy could enforce liturgical discipline. But you know how risky that is. Someone might call you a mean name on Facebook.