The Bigfoot Defense

Bigfoot

Perhaps Sasquatch will succeed where Son of Sam’s dog failed.

A man accused of killing his friend told Oklahoma deputies that his friend “summoned Bigfoot” to kill him, leaving him no choice but to defend himself, according to media outlets.

The Pontotoc County Sheriff’s Office responded to a call about an incident on the south Canadian River near Ada, Oklahoma, about 85 miles southeast of Oklahoma City, according to a July 11 news release from the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation.

Authorities said two men were noodling — catching catfish with their hands — in the river on July 9 when a confrontation began.

The 53-year-old man began “striking and strangling” the other, eventually killing him, authorities said.

Full disclosure: When the report said “noodling” I pictured this:

Pool Noodles

 

Sheriff John Christian of the Pontotoc County Sheriff’s Office told the outlet that the man “appeared to be under the influence of something.” The man told authorities that his friend “had summoned ‘Bigfoot’ to come and kill him, and that’s why he had to kill” the friend, Christian said.

Read the full story here.

The post could end here, but I know this blog’s readers have come to expect more than “Hur, dur, stooopid rednecks!”

So let’s indulge some intellectual curiosity and consider whether the Bigfoot Defense might have merit.

First, the story above makes the authorities sound like obstinate cops from every 80s horror film who refuses to believe reports of a menace on the loose until it’s too late.

Movies aren’t reality, but most stereotypes have some basis in fact.

Second, a non-mainstream yet persistent theory in cryptozoology circles posits that some cryptids are in fact extradimensional beings from adjacent realities. This take sounds nutty, but it has quite the pedigree, having been forwarded by such luminaries as Loren Coleman and Jacques Valée.

Even if Sasquatch is some kind of dimensional entity, could someone summon it?

Reformed druggies swear that certain legendary creatures common to many users’ psychedelic trips are demons.

Golden Dawn sorcerer Aleister Crowley claimed he created the Loch Ness Monster when a demon he summoned slipped its leash.

The murder report says the suspect was “under the influence of something.”

Depending on what that “something” was, could a drug trip gone bad have brought one or both men into contact with something sinister – and could that something have been given a free hand to influence this world?

Occam’s razor says no. The most likely explanation is that inebriation turned an everyday altercation deadly.

Then again, with drug use and interest in the occult rising, perhaps the Bigfoot Defense deserves its day in court.

For an even weirder tale of interdimensional crime and Faustian bargains, read my award-winning Soul Cycle.

Read now:

Nethereal - Brian Niemeier

5 Comments

  1. El Bearsidente

    He appeared to be “under the influence of something”.

    Déagol and Sméagol.

    • Andrew Phillips

      And I thought Scientology was weird and silly. Jumping from Scientology to Satanic gnosticism is jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.

      • Hardwicke Benthow

        L. Ron Hubbard (creator of Scientology) spent some time in a cult run by Jack Parsons, a prominent rocket scientist and American disciple of Aleister Crowley. Hubbard eventually left the cult…with Parsons’ girlfriend and thousands of dollars of his money. Everything was an “angle” with Hubbard. He was a con-man extraordinaire. I wouldn’t be surprised if he also took notes on how Parsons ran his cult to figure out how to create his own.

        • Hubbard’s advice to authors writing crime fiction was to visit the local PD and interview a homicide detective. If he practiced what he preached, and there’s no reason to think otherwise, your comment is right on the money.

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